fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
