Im at strip club and am horny
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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