I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
