What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
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