Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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