How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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