Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
