i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
