mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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