im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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