glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED