What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
