if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
