They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize