You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
