Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.