i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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