Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
