I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
