id be glad to
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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