drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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