I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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