I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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