I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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