he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
