all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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