drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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