He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
