Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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