if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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