apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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