Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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