I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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