this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
