I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize