do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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