So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
