You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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