you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
