What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
