i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
