official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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