ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
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There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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