So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
