How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
