i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
