She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We have started to decorate penises.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
