I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
