I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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