Umm I'm too high to move.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
