No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
