You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think i have two assholes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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