East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
