you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
