i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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