I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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