my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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