Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
