how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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