how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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