You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
time to smoke my breakfast
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my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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