her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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