I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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