So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
