So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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