I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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