you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There r osticjed everywhere
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
