they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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