yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
