apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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